creatine hcl and the bloating saga

So, apparently creatine HCL is the hot stuff these days because oh, it doesn’t make you bloat like a whale that’s had too much for breakfast. Great, right? Except everyone and their mother is acting like this is the miraculous water-saving Superman of supplements, as if we’re supposed to throw a parade now that we’re not turning into over-inflated balloons every time we try to get a tad stronger.

Here’s the thing—why the endless hype about no water retention? Aren’t we all capable of keeping ourselves hydrated without resembling human waterbeds? But nooooo, let’s sing hallelujah for creatine HCL and its revolutionary ability to keep our tummies flat. Really? That’s what gets innovation points these days?

The irony slaps you in the face harder when you think about how Monohydrate will probably just sulk in the corner now because it’s not sensitive-stomach-friendly. Poor Monohydrate. It had a good run. Almost feel sorry for it, honestly. What do you do if water retention was the only thing you had going for you and suddenly you’re just, well, bland?

Oh well, maybe next week it’ll be something else they invent just to poke fun at our desperation for strength and bloat-free glory. Whoopie. Anyway, if you want to continue this drama here, be my guest. Or don’t. Whatever.