so this is why keto coffee got the boot

Ever wake up one day and realize something you’ve been doing for a long while just feels… off? Well, that’s me with keto coffee. You know, that concoction of coffee, butter, and MCT oil that sounds like a science experiment gone wrong? So, yeah, I used to drink it—a lot.

Like every other trend victim, I hoped it would supercharge my mornings and turn me into an energized morning demon. I’d be wide-eyed, bouncing off the walls, achieving productivity levels beyond what any normal human should. And, I mean, it worked for a bit (if by ‘worked’, you mean jittery episode followed by inevitable crash).

Then came the mornings where instead of feeling like a superhuman, I felt like I chewed on a mouthful of bitterness and regret. My stomach decided it was time to implode, and my brain—cloudier than a London afternoon.

And the taste? Oh, the taste. Like someone took my beloved coffee, held its relative hostage, and stuffed it with a stick of butter. If someone tells you keto coffee tastes great, they probably lie about other things too (like unicorns or working out being ‘fun’).

But really, it wasn’t just the taste. There was the whole routine—the blending, the measuring, the cleanup. Who has the time? I looked at my meal plan and swore there had to be a simpler way. Guess what? Regular breakfast became my savior. Eggs, toast, and a dash of zero nuisances.

So, I stopped. Cold turkey. Which was funny considering there’s nothing ‘cold’ about this coffee. It felt liberating to ditch that morning circus. I know it’s supposed to make you feel full until lunch and all, but honestly, a decent breakfast does the job without leaving your taste buds in crisis mode.

Now, I just laugh at the thought of all those MCT oil bottles gathering dust in my pantry (I might use them as paperweights). And butter… let’s just say it’s happier on bread. The uncanny mix of hope and curiosity that drove these decisions? Slightly underwhelmed, slightly amused.

Anyway, my mornings are smoother now, at least the coffee is. It’s funny how something that was supposed to make life easier just complicated it all. My eyes still hurt. I need real coffee. Ugh.