fasting gimmicks are ridiculous

So, this whole alternate day fasting nonsense, what a joke. Who even decided that depriving yourself for 24 hours only to binge the next is a good idea? I mean, seriously, let’s just starve ourselves into oblivion because, apparently, that’s what we need for rapid weight loss. The people who tell you it’s all about improving insulin sensitivity probably never tried to function while fasting an entire day—it’s not pretty.

You want to talk about high difficulty, high reward? That’s basically the perfect tagline for a bad infomercial where you end up with a completely unnecessary product cluttering your life. Why put yourself through the misery when you can just eat like a normal human being? Trust me, no one enjoys watching you weakly decline invitation after invitation because it’s your “fast day.” Like you’re some kind of starving ascendic, hoping for enlightenment in the form of a reflection from your empty fridge. I can’t even.

Then there’s this idea that it’s effective for turning your life around faster than switching phone plans. Do people even listen to themselves? A plan that only a monk in a time machine might love. And yet, here you are, trying to juggle life while being constantly hangry, looking at everyone else as if they’re eating gold-laced pastries when they’re just having a sandwich. Yeah, but you—you’ve got goals. Sure.

If you just wanted to see if you can torture yourself for fun, here’s the source of this absurdity. Go ahead, pretend like this is about health, while ignoring that little voice inside your head screaming “Why?” Whatever.