the absurdity of cycle syncing meal prep

So, apparently, we’re tailoring our meals to the four phases of the menstrual cycle now. Great. Just what I needed, another reason to plan my life around something completely out of my control. I guess eating regular food like a normal person isn’t complicated enough. You know, there’s this charming absurdity where I’m supposed to eat light, fermented foods during the follicular phase. Who has time to ferment anything in 2025? What am I? A caveman trying to preserve vegetables for winter?

And then we move to raw veggies and antioxidants during the ovulatory phase. As if dealing with hormones isn’t hard enough, now these geniuses think raw carrots are the solution? Spare me. Mix that with the perpetual need to track everything down to the last second, and you’ve got a recipe for stress stew. I mean, just imagine staring at your calendar thinking, ‘Oh no, it’s ovulatory time, where are my antioxidants?’ It’s mind-boggling.

Can’t forget about luteal phase and all the complex carbs to ‘curb cravings.’ More like adding carbs to curb sanity. Menstrual phase? Iron-rich comfort foods. Makes sense, give me a steak and chocolate while I’m at it. And do these trendy trendsetters even realize how insane this sounds? I dare anyone to keep this up without losing their mind. But hey, if you want to read more about this conundrum, dive right into this specific text. Whatever.