strict diets are kinda ridiculous

So, I was just scrolling through my feed when I stumbled upon this gem of a title: “Why Strict Diets ALWAYS Fail…” Honestly, you didn’t need to tell me. I’ve been there, failing diet after diet, and I’m pretty sure my left-over kale chips know it too. Seriously, why do we even set ourselves up for failure by diving into these strict diet regimes?

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It starts with this grand plan, right? You find some celebrity on Instagram flaunting their #detox journey, and suddenly you think, ‘Yeah, I could totally do this.’ Spoiler alert: you can’t. I mean, what even is ‘detox’? I read this entertaining article that described detox diets as though they were magical potions from a Harry Potter saga. Spoiler: they aren’t magic. They’re just another marketing scheme wrapped in keto pancakes or whatever.

Then comes the realization that carbs aren’t evil (can I get an amen?). Because somewhere in our love affair with bread, we became convinced that pasta was the enemy. Why though? Carbs and cheese are practically the best buddies I never had. Plus, the whole ‘guilt’ thing attached to having a slice of cake at a party? Don’t even get me started. Have you ever looked at a soggy carrot stick and thought, wow, this’ll hit the spot? Yeah, me neither.

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But here’s where it gets seriously funny (or sad, depending on how you look at it). The second I decide to quit a diet, I feel this immense sense of relief. Like I’ve been released from diet jail, finally free to eat an actual meal. Does anyone else feel like the term ‘cheat day’ is kind of ridiculous? Why should enjoying a slice of pizza feel like a heist?

Anyway, strict diets pretending to be some kind of moral high ground really just make me roll my eyes. Honestly, if your diet feels like a job, what’s the point? Makes me wonder if we’ll ever get to a place where food isn’t some kind of enemy. My eyes still hurt from all the calorie counting apps, though. I need coffee. Ugh.