the treadmill circus

So what the heck is this obsession with the 12-3-30 treadmill craze? It’s basically like saying, ‘Hey, let’s walk up a fake hill for half an hour and pretend we’re achieving some grand feat of fitness innovation’. Forty-five degrees? Really? But that’s where we are now, climbing an Everest of mediocrity in the comfort of air-conditioned gyms while we binge-watch some series that’s just as pointless. Let’s dress up our laziness as ‘lifestyle goals’.

And then there’s the whole ‘low impact, high calorie burn’ nonsense. Since when did we decide that walking uphill at the speed of paint drying was going to revolutionize our workout routines? Oh sure, it’s cozy—right up until you realize you’ve spent thirty minutes staring blankly at a wall. Honestly, if this excites you, maybe start a collection of blank notepads for an extra thrill!

Yeah, it trends because it’s simple. But simple isn’t always better, or even remotely interesting. To each their own treadmill circus, I guess. Whatever.